I haven't absorbed all of this yet (so many links/videos!), but this is an epically great post, Julia!
" ... round and around and back home again ... to a place where we know we are loved." I suppose that's what we all want.
This post dovetails nicely with my reading of your book on "fallen women" in Victorian England. How cleverly our contemporary society has fixed the problem! It was simply a matter of branding: Not "fallen" but elevated and "sacred." (It's been about 15 years since I first noticed the phrase "pro haux" as an umbrella term for those who "support" sex workers.)
I have several friends who are or were sex workers. In the early days, when interacting with them, I still had the old "fallen" paradigm in my head, and assumed that once these women got on their feet financially, they'd quit being sex workers (i.e., make the ontological trek from "magdalen" to "madonna"). In some cases, it played out that way (Deo gratias), but in others, the new view of sex work as sacred has provided no incentive whatever to change their occupations.
I was talking with one of these women the other day (still active in sex work), and she spoke of a man who is romantically attached to her. She has compassion for him, but knows he would make an abysmal boyfriend or husband. She was explaining to me her dilemma regarding how much she could ethically "take him for." For example, as along as she was upfront about never being romantic with him, and told him so plainly (though he would always, as a delusional male, hold out hope), was it then okay to take money and gifts from him?
This is a profound post, which I'm sure I'll revisit soon.
I haven't absorbed all of this yet (so many links/videos!), but this is an epically great post, Julia!
" ... round and around and back home again ... to a place where we know we are loved." I suppose that's what we all want.
This post dovetails nicely with my reading of your book on "fallen women" in Victorian England. How cleverly our contemporary society has fixed the problem! It was simply a matter of branding: Not "fallen" but elevated and "sacred." (It's been about 15 years since I first noticed the phrase "pro haux" as an umbrella term for those who "support" sex workers.)
I have several friends who are or were sex workers. In the early days, when interacting with them, I still had the old "fallen" paradigm in my head, and assumed that once these women got on their feet financially, they'd quit being sex workers (i.e., make the ontological trek from "magdalen" to "madonna"). In some cases, it played out that way (Deo gratias), but in others, the new view of sex work as sacred has provided no incentive whatever to change their occupations.
I was talking with one of these women the other day (still active in sex work), and she spoke of a man who is romantically attached to her. She has compassion for him, but knows he would make an abysmal boyfriend or husband. She was explaining to me her dilemma regarding how much she could ethically "take him for." For example, as along as she was upfront about never being romantic with him, and told him so plainly (though he would always, as a delusional male, hold out hope), was it then okay to take money and gifts from him?
This is a profound post, which I'm sure I'll revisit soon.
Thank you for your thoughtful and sensitive reading, Paul. I really appreciate it. There’s a lot to discuss here.